


Pants-less

by OsirisApollo



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Awkwardness, Castiel/Dean Winchester Flirting, Excessive use of the word fuck, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Humor, M/M, Police Officer Castiel (Supernatural), teen rating is literally because of bad words
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-21
Updated: 2019-07-21
Packaged: 2020-07-09 17:01:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,405
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19891270
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OsirisApollo/pseuds/OsirisApollo
Summary: Of course when Dean gets pulled over he's not wearing any pants.





	Pants-less

**Author's Note:**

> One year ago today I posted [ "Where There's Smoke, There's Fire".](https://archiveofourown.org/works/15359274) A lot of things have happened in my life since then, and I didn't know if I would ever have the time or motivation to write again. Not too long ago I wandered onto this site to see that the kudos on that fic have jumped over 900. Not only was I a happy little clam to see that just because I wasn't involved in fandom anymore didn't mean that people weren't still reading, but it also gave me the motivation to try writing again. I gave myself a deadline, July 20th, which was the same day I posted it last year, and I cranked out this fic (which had already been started some time ago).  
> Thank you all for your love and support!
> 
> Special thanks to these nerds:  
> [MaskofCognito](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MaskofCognito/pseuds/MaskofCognito) as always! My wonderful beta that will accept a fic from me, even if it's 2 hours before it's supposed to be posted.  
> [Halzbarry](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Halzbarry/pseuds/Halzbarry), [Destimushi](https://archiveofourown.org/users/destimushi/pseuds/destimushi), &[ Icarusinflight](https://archiveofourown.org/users/icarusinflight/pseuds/icarusinflight)\- the rest of my support team! When I came up with this crazy idea, it was July 9th. I didn't give myself a lot of time. I started doubting myself a couple of days later and they wouldn't let me quit. Actual message from me to them "Damn my supportive friends for making me believe in myself!" XD
> 
> **This fic is based on a true story**

Dean loved his car. She was perfect in every way. A beautiful, classic muscle car untouched by modern technology. It meant not having to worry as much about things going wrong and if they did it was easier to fix. There were no motors in the windows to die out and need replacement. There was no main computer to fry out if the battery went bad. It was a bit difficult to find tapes for his tape deck when everyone else was connecting iPods to their rides, but Dean had enough good music to last him a lifetime and could live with a little inconvenience if it meant not douching up his baby.

Today it was a bit harder to forgive some of the lack of advancements, though. As much as he loved his car exactly the way it was, he couldn’t help but wish she’d come with air conditioning.

Of course the bank had finally called him in the middle of a heatwave, asking him to drive all the way to Wichita for a meeting. Of course he had to wear a stuffy suit to look the part of a serious businessman. And of course they hadn’t called to give him good news. They’d only wanted to hash out more of his business plan, asking him to rewrite practically the entire thing so they could send it up the ladder to see if it would be approved.

It was disappointing.

And so fucking hot.

Even with all of the windows down and the wings flipped open, Dean couldn’t tell if it was actually cooler in the car than it was outside. Although it had the hairdryer effect of hot air blowing into his face, at least the air was moving. He had a vague suspicion if he didn’t at least have that he’d be baked like a potato. 

Fucking bank. Fuck driving all the way to fucking Wichita just to be told he wasn’t good enough and right in the middle of a fucking heatwave. Not to mention the fucking suit he had to don for the occasion that was helping to ensure he was extremely well done by the time he got home.

That thought brought to mind the soft, melt-in-your-mouth kind of baked potato. Those were the best. At least if he was baked into the leather on his drive home, he’d be delicious.

Those thoughts weren’t helping. Now he was hot _and_ hungry.

He probably should have eaten something after his meeting instead of peeling out and leaving the city in a cloud of smoke.

He tugged at the tie around his neck, looking for a little more air. It might not be so bad of a drive if he wasn’t wearing the stupid suit. Usually, a nice drive in Baby would help to calm him down, but today the lack of air conditioning was really grating on his nerves, and he blamed the suit entirely.

Wait a second. What the fuck was he doing? He was driving through the middle of nowhere. There was nothing but corn and empty fields as far as the eye could see and he was sitting in his car in a fucking suit. 

The second the idea struck him he was whipping the tie off and struggling to remove his dress shirt without losing control of the wheel. The undershirt he ended up in was on the wet side of damp, but the breeze through the window finally seemed to be cooling him.

The relief of removing his overshirt was short-lived, however. The leather seats seemed to radiate his own heat back at him, amplifying it, and the breeze really only cooled his front. 

Dean could see the heat rising off the street ahead of him, and the sun beat down without a cloud to dampen the blow. Even the corn stalks seemed to be mocking him.

He really didn’t have that much longer to drive. It wasn’t a big deal. It wasn’t as if he would die from being a little overheated.

Or maybe he would. They’d find him on the side of the road, covered in sweat, melted into a suit he didn’t even like.

He’d always heard the phrase “I wouldn’t be caught dead in that” and suddenly it seemed he could finally understand what it meant. He’d rather be found in his boxers.

He drove only a little longer before he found a safe place to pull over. As soon as the car was in park he nearly tore the button from his slacks in an effort to get them off faster. The zipper was forced down and he breathed a sigh of relief. He reached under the seat and pulled the bar to move it back so he could reach his feet. It took no time at all to remove his stupid dress shoes, ripping his socks off just as quickly. He shoved the pants down, lifting his ass to accommodate, and then pushing them to the floor. Shoes, socks, and pants were then thrown into the passenger’s side footwell. Dean breathed a sigh of relief as he pulled the seat back into the driving position.

And that’s exactly when he saw the flash of blue and red in his rearview mirror.

“You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me.”

He prayed that it was just a hallucination, brought on by being overheated for too long. That was a thing that happened, right? 

The sound of a door slamming, and the crunch of footsteps on the gravel said even if it was a thing, it wasn’t what was happening right now.

A look in his side mirrors showed the officer was tall and broad. A man, clearly, and Dean was going to have to work a lot harder to get out of this than he might have.

Fuck. 

Dean stared straight ahead, turning over what he’d say to the officer when he got to his window. If he played his cards right he wouldn’t even have to worry about his half-naked state. It wasn’t as if cops looked around in your car for anything suspicious when they had the chance.

He was so screwed. 

The sound of footsteps stopped next to his window, and Dean forced his face into his most charming smile.

“Hello, officer,” he greeted cheerfully, as his eyes traveled up from the gleaming badge in front of him. When he got to the face of the man he was going to have to convince he wasn’t some kind of pervert, he froze. Holy. Shit.

“Are you doing alright, sir?” The graveled voice of the officer shot through Dean’s system like a lightning bolt, and he willed his body not to react. The last thing he needed was to be caught half-naked in his car _with a boner._ It wasn’t like he’d be able to hide that because _he wasn’t wearing any fucking pants!_

“Uh, yeah! Everything’s fine!” Dean tried to force his voice down an octave by the time he got to the last word. He didn’t need to sound nervous, no matter how nervous he actually was.

“Is your car causing you trouble?”

If it had been anyone else, Dean would have been able to charm himself out of the situation. He’d laugh, and blow off the concern, and the officer would be back in their car and on their merry way before they’d even had a chance to notice his pantless state. But there was something about this guy that hit Dean like a truck, and he needed all his brainpower to be focused on keeping little Dean from joining the conversation.

“No, no. She’s fine.” Dean leaned forward to rub a hand across the dashboard in a show of affection. And if the action helped cover his using the other hand to pull his shirt a little further forward to cover his appreciation of Officer Hot Damn, the man didn’t need to know that. 

The officer just continued to stare at him.

“Are you having some kind of health issue?”

Maybe it was the voice that was doing it. It was a really nice voice. The stuff of fantasy. Porn stars and phone sex. Or maybe it was the eyes. So blue they almost seemed to be glowing. Although, Dean could admit—at least to himself—that the stubble, and the strong jawline under it, were definitely some of his favorite things. And to top it all off, those lips. Those were the kind of lips that anyone would be happy to have pressed against them. Wherever they happened to land.

“No, yeah. I’m fine. Just a little overheated,” He hoped it sounded more reassuring out loud than it did in his head.

The staring was reaching epic proportions and Dean did his best not to squirm in his seat. He couldn’t for the life of him figure out what it was the man was waiting for.

“Then why are you parked on the side of the road in the middle of nowhere?”

Oh christ. Of course! The guy wanted an explanation. Too bad Dean didn’t have one of those on hand that didn’t make him seem like some kind of weirdo.

Sorry officer! Just pulled over to take my pants off! No biggie!

Dean let out an involuntary huff of air that may or may not be perceived as a giggle. He really had lost his mind in the heat.

He could admit he’d thought the officer was hot as fuck from the second he’d gotten a good look at him, but when he raised his eyebrow questioningly Dean might have actually whimpered.

He needed to stop thinking with his dick. He was about two feet away from being arrested, and he didn’t need to give the man any reason to take the step forward that would show him just how much of a pervert Dean was actually turning out to be. He needed an excuse for pulling off the road. Something that sounded reasonable. Something that wasn’t _I needed to take off my pants._

“Uh, my phone!” Dean practically yelled, reaching for it on the seat beside him to wave it at the officer, as if he needed evidence. “It fell, and I was just trying to reach it without running off the road. I figured pulling over was my safest bet.”

That was good! Somehow his brain had clicked back online without his knowledge because that sounded plausible and it even made him look like the kind of citizen that cared about the safety of others.

Instead of being congratulated for the responsible driving he’d supposedly displayed, the officer frowned at him.

“You know it’s illegal to text and drive. Even out here.” He gestured to the nothingness that surrounded them.

And Dean’s brain was clearly offline again because instead of being upset about getting in trouble for something he wasn’t even doing, that disapproving tone went straight to his libido. 

“Uh, yeah. Yes, I know. I wasn’t texting. I was just making sure I had it with me, in case of an emergency.” He didn’t even sound convincing to his own ears.

“I’m sure.” The man rolled his eyes, and even that looked sexy. Who the fuck was this guy? And why hadn’t Dean met him somewhere he could have tried to do something about it?

“I wasn’t texting, dude.” He did his best to sound irritated and not hard enough to hammer nails.

The officer glared at him for a second, his blue eyes boring into Dean’s as if he could seek out the truth of his words with just a look. Considering how intimidating it was, Dean didn’t even doubt that was true. “Alright.”

It was time to work his magic and get the fuck out of there. He knew how to be charming. He knew how to weasel his way out of trouble. He just had to remember how that worked. 

“So, uh, I’ve got my phone now. Am I free to go?”

Yep. 100% charm right there.

“I only pulled over because I was concerned about a car on the side of the road this far from town. You’re not in any trouble.”

Well, that was good news. If he wasn’t in trouble yet, he should get the hell out of there before he was. “Okay. Well, I’m going to go, then.”

He leaned forward to turn the key and realized the car was still running. He was really off his game. He moved his hand toward the gearshift instead, hoping it looked smoother than it felt.

The officer spoke again before he could put the car in gear, though. “I do have one more question before you go.”

Dean was well aware that playing nice with the police was the best policy, so he let his hand drop back to the seat before meeting the officer’s eyes again. “Shoot.”

“Is there a reason you’re not wearing any pants?” That sinful eyebrow was raised again, but this time it had an even more profound impact.

Dean felt heat rush to his face as embarrassment consumed him. How had the man let him go on with excuses and fumbling attempts at charm when he’d known about his situation the entire time? Shouldn’t that have been the first thing he brought up? Excuse me, sir, but where are your pants?

“Well, uh, to be honest…” To be honest, he had no good answer for that. He could try to bullshit his way out, but his track record with this particular man so far said it wasn’t really an option.

Dean sighed and leaned back in his seat, not bothering to try and cover up his shame anymore. There was nothing for it. He’d just have to be honest and hope the guy would understand.

“It’s hotter than hell out here, and my car doesn’t have any air conditioning. I had a meeting in Wichita, and I was wearing a stuffy suit, and I really didn’t think I would survive the trip home if I kept wearing it.”

He couldn’t help watching the officer as he spoke, hoping to gauge his reaction and how much trouble he would be getting in for this. It wasn’t what he’d expected. 

The guy looked startled by his honesty for a second, but by the end of the explanation he was chuckling quietly.

“That’s understandable, I think.”

Really? It was understandable that a man was driving around half-naked? God, he’d been freaking out over not having pants on the entire time they’d been sitting here. A good ten minutes or so of the most uncomfortable interaction he’d ever had with a civil servant while completely sober. And the guy wasn’t even going to give him a hard time about it.

Dean could tell by the little smile the man was sporting he was amused at Dean’s story, not waiting to write him a ticket for public indecency or whatever could have been warranted.

Dean was so relieved by the turn of events that he actually took a moment to realize something about this whole interaction that he had been too worried to notice before.

“I do appreciate that you were worried about me. I’m not sure there are many cops that would have pulled over just to make sure I was alright.”

It was actually really nice of the guy to pull over and make sure he wasn’t stranded or having a heart attack or something. Dean didn’t think cops did things like that anymore.

The officer offered him a shy smile, and while the authoritative part of him had made Dean’s boxers feel a little tighter, the slight pinkening of his cheeks made Dean melt a little.

“I’m glad I did. It’s not every day I get to fluster attractive men on the side of the road.”

Whoa now. Attractive? This wasn’t really happening, right? The heat had finally melted his brain and now he really was hallucinating.

The pink on the officer’s cheeks deepened as Dean gaped at him, and it suddenly became clear. The sexy officer of his fantasies was totally hitting on him!

Dean offered his most charming smirk as apology for his slow working brain. 

“Me too. It’s not every day I get harassed by men that come with their own handcuffs.”

The laugh that elicited wiped away the officer’s shyness, and he met Dean’s eyes again. He reached into his breast pocket pulling out a few cards. He separated one and replaced the rest.

“This is highly irregular,” he said awkwardly, flipping the card against the edge of a finger, “but I’d like you to have this.” He handed the card to Dean, hastily adding, “In case you find yourself stranded on the side of the road in the future.”

The card had the police department logo in the right-hand corner. Lawrence Police Department, to be exact, and a thrill ran down Dean’s spine as he realized the officer was from his hometown. That would certainly make things a little easier if this was headed where he thought it was. Under the logo was a number, but Dean wasn’t interested in that one. The name “Castiel Novak” was embossed in the middle, with a phone number and extension on it, but written neatly underneath was the officer’s cell phone number.

“What if I’m not stranded? What if I’m just bored?”

Castiel grinned at him, apparently relieved by Dean’s reaction. “Well, then, you know how to reach me.”

Taking off his pants was really making its way up to one of the best decisions he’d ever made.

“Castiel. That’s an odd name.”

“It is.” Castiel agreed but didn’t explain any further. Dean didn’t really mind, he liked a challenge.

“Can I call you Cas?” He asked flirtatiously, going so far as to wriggle his eyebrows.

Castiel chuckled at his antics and then raised that fucking eyebrow again. “Perhaps. If you’ll give me something to call you.”

“Oh, yeah. I’m Dean. I don’t usually take my pants off _before_ I give out my name, so I’ve done things a little out of order.” Dean offered his hand through the window for a shake, although it felt a little weirdly formal for a guy he’d already been flirting with.

Castiel huffed another laugh at him as he reached forward to take the offered hand. It wasn’t until their hands actually clasped that Dean realized how sweaty and disgusting his hand actually was.

“Ugh, sorry about that. I’d offer to wipe it off and try again, but I don’t seem to have any pants to wipe them on.”

Castiel let out a real laugh then, full-bodied and absolutely beautiful. His eyes crinkled at the corners when he laughed, and how the hell was this guy so adorable and hot at the same time?

“I suppose you’d like me to believe this is more evidence that you wouldn’t have survived the trip if you had to wear your pants?”

“If you could, that’d be great.”

Castiel’s amused eyes met his, and Dean was struck again by the color. They really were the most incredible shade of blue Dean had ever seen. It took a moment for him to feel embarrassed by his staring, but it couldn’t be that bad if Castiel was staring right back.

Everything was going incredibly well, considering the circumstances, and Dean really needed to get out of here before he found a way to make an ass out of himself.

“Well, I should probably go before Baby makes a liar out of me and starts overheating.”

“Yes. Drive safe. I look forward to hearing from you, Dean.” Castiel smiled warmly before making the trek back to his own car. 

Dean waited to make sure the man was safely inside before pulling back out onto the road. 

The whole thing had worked out so much better than he could have ever imagined. Instead of a ticket, he scored the phone number of a smoking hot police officer. He picked up his phone to save Castiel’s number in it before he could lose the card.

With a smirk, he typed out a message and hit send before he could think better of it. The response came almost immediately, and Dean couldn’t help but laugh.

**(Sent)** **I’m speeding Cas. Looks like those**

**cuffs are going to get some use after all**

_(Received)_ _I believe I told you_

_that texting and driving is illegal_

**Author's Note:**

> **Ok, so the true part was that I got pulled over when I wasn't wearing any pants. I didn't have AC and I live in Texas. I had to go to the city for an interview and I was wearing slacks and a nice shirt. When I got to the country I realized there was no one around to see me anyway and pulled over to take my pants off (it was also dark outside). Sure enough, some kind officer pulled over to make sure I was ok. Scared the ever-living shit out of me. It did not turn into a flirty date, and to this day I have no idea if he knew I wasn't wearing pants, but Dean and I used the same excuse for why we pulled over. My officer just took that excuse and wished me a safe drive. He was not as sassy as Cas XD  
> The baked potato reference is what I used to call myself when I was dying in my car. It was silver, so it made just a tiny bit more sense.


End file.
